Why Haven’t I… Done that? Tried that? Been there?

It can be really easy when you’re dreaming of traveling or in the midst of it to get inside your own head. To compare things. Especially when you begin to meet new people and learn about their travel journey.

It’s really easy to look at the different things people have done and judge yourself for not having done it. To listen to someone younger than you describe doing something that you didn’t even consider.

Suddenly, you’re looking at your own journey and maybe you’re feeling like you’re failing. You’re looking at yourself and thinking “I thought I had courage but clearly I don’t since they did x and I’m sitting here only doing L”. It hits even harder when it’s something that you want to do. It hits even harder when you are traveling and already feeling like you’re pushing past your expectations. It hits even harder when you look back on where you were when you were that age. It hits harder when you’re already the ‘courageous’ one in your family/friend group back home. When people build up you and what you’re doing. It can feel like a crash or a slap in the face when you see that others are moving past where you are.

You hear a story of someone who on their first solo trip decided to go to a country completely different than their own and hired a random local guide to take them to the middle of nowhere with no service and here you are feeling like you’re doing the “safe” thing and not really living this life that you felt you jumped in the deep end for.

But it’s your journey – not theirs. And you need to go at your pace.

Push your limits yes, but don’t push yourself past what you can handle. One day you’ll look back and find that you’re so far beyond what you expected at the beginning of your journey that you don’t even recognize yourself or the path you took. Things that at this point in time seem impossible, will be easy and you’ll forget that you ever felt that way. One day, you’ll be the one telling crazy stories to your fellow travelers. You’ll be the one talking about the time you went for a hike because a fellow hostel goer convinced you it was a good idea and it ended up being 11 hours and ended with you hitchhiking back to the hostel in the dark.

FOMO – Fear of Missing Out.

It’s a real fear, especially when you’re trying something new. Take in the different stories that you hear and use them as a way to expand what you thought was possible. And then use that feeling as a way to motivate yourself to do the same. Reach out to those people you read about or just continue to talk to the people you meet and learn about their process. Take pointers/advice and then go and do it your way.

Ask people what they’re doing next and see if you can join. Ask people for recommendations on places to stay, things to do. See if someone can introduce you to a local when you get there. Contact locals who post things online (such as Instagram) and see if they have suggestions or maybe they’re a local guide for hire.

Accept your feelings as natural.

As much as I hate to admit it, with our society the way that it is, it’s natural to feel like you’re failing when you compare yourself to others. Your feelings are valid – it’s something that we all deal with to a certain degree. It’s okay to have those feelings and it’s okay to get lost in that funk for a little while. But once you’ve accepted it – know that it doesn’t have to end that way.

Don’t let your FOMO push you to make decisions you don’t want to do

Peer pressure is a real thing that doesn’t go away when you leave high school or university. We may see it more in those settings since it tends to be pretty in your face – but it exists elsewhere. You see it in workplace politics and you see it in hostels. And sometimes peer pressure is actually more self pressure because you worry what others are going to think about you if you don’t do x, y, or z.

This is especially true when you’ve been drinking too much. Alcohol lowers our inhibitions and something that you semi wondered about can suddenly sound like a great idea. Especially with someone in your ear going “it’s not so bad! And it’ll just be a small little thing”.

There’s nothing wrong with giving into your curiosity – but make sure that it’s driven by you, not someone else. Otherwise, sober or not, you’ll come out the other side pissed at yourself.

Live your life – And accept your journey is just that – yours.